Speed Dating no Jutsu
by Akasakufan
Summary: Chaos ensues when Sakura runs into the Akatsuki during speed dating.
1. Chapter 1

It was a peaceful morning in Konoha and Sakura lounged in her living room enjoying the warm sun and a novel. It was her day off and she decided to spend it enjoying some quiet time. She was so engaged in her reading that she didn't hear the knocking on her front door. She was only brought out of her stupor when the book was torn from her hands by a certain Yamanaka.

"Reading on your day off, huh Sakura? God you're so boring" the blonde teased.

"What do you want Ino pig?" the pinkette retorted.

"I came here to drag you out of the house. We're going out and getting you a boyfriend" Ino answered with a sly grin. Before Sakura had any hope of protesting, Ino was already dragging her to the bedroom to pick out an outfit.

An hour later, both girls were dressed and ready to go.

"Ino, where exactly are we going?" Sakura asked.

"You'll see forehead" Ino said a little too cheerily. Sakura sighed and mentally prepared herself for the worst.

Twenty minutes later Sakura found herself in front of a popular café on the outskirts of the Fire country with a look of disbelief on her face. "Speedating?!" she asked, looking at her grinning best friend. "I'm not doing this" Sakura declared as she turned to walk away. Ino grabbed her arm however and stopped her.

"Come one Sakura, just give it a chance! You might meet a great guy!" reasoned the blonde.

"Or a serial killer" Sakura mumbled.

"Please Sakura?" Ino begged. Sakura sighed and gave in. Arguing with the blonde was not the way she wanted to spend her day off.

"Okay okay, but if I meet a creep, I'm leaving."

"Deal!" cheered Ino. Sakura sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today and walked with her friend into the café.

"My hobbies include observing the life cycles of various insects. I also enjoy cataloging rare species of insects" droned Shino.

Sakura mentally cringed at the odd behaviors of the bug user. Her first few dates had gone normally, but on her fifth round, Shino sat down and it had all gone downhill from there. Finally, the timer rang and the Aburame stood up, thanked her quietly for the "date" and slunk away.

Sakura buried her head in her hands and prayed this would be over soon. She didn't look up when the next participant sat down. "Rough day Princess?" a deep, amused sounding voice asked.

Sakura looked up, ready to apologize to the man and excuse herself but the words died in her throat. There sitting across from her was Kisame Hoshigaki. Sakura's eyes went as wide as she stared slack jawed at the Akatsuki.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" she growled.

He grinned at her, revealing his sharp pointed teeth. She shivered slightly but composed herself and glared.

"This is neutral territory sweetheart" he drawled.

"So the Akatsuki spend their free time speed dating?" Sakura sneered.

"Bosses order" Kisame said, gesturing across the room. Sakura turned and much to her horror saw the rest of the Akatsuki sitting at various tables, all participating in the speed dates. Her fear doubled when they all seemed to sense her staring and turned to look back at her.

"Shit shit shit" Sakura cursed. "INO WE GOTTA GO!" Sakura yelled frantically. She looked around for her best friend, only to spot her at the same table as Itachi. Sakura mentally cursed her flirtatious blonde friend and yelled her name again. Ino looked over and glared.

"Sakura, can't you see I'm on a date?!" the blonde chided. She then turned back to the raven haired Uchiha and gave him a sultry smile. Sakura turned back to the grinning shark man and slumped down in her chair in exasperation.

"So why is the Akatsuki really here?" she resignedly asked the blue man.

"Let's just say we're here looking for a certain person" Kisame answered with a grin.

Sakura raised a delicate pink eyebrow at the Akatsuki. She was about to question him further, but a shadow fell over the pink haired girl. She looked up and found herself staring into the crimson eyes of Itachi Uchiha.

"Sakura Haruno. You're coming with us." Before she could react, she felt herself being pulled into Tsukuyomi and everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura woke to yelling and what she could have sworn was an explosion. She looked around the room as the events of the café came back to her. Swearing quietly, she stood up and looked for a way out. She noted that there were no windows. Upon checking the door and finding it was locked, she sat on the bed and began thinking of a plan. Smashing a hole in the wall would only alert every single Akatsuki to her impending escape. Waiting for an Akatsuki to come check on her and attacking them was a possibility, but the chance of her being able to quickly incapacitate them was very slim. Sakura sighed as she realized what an impossible situation she was in.

"Stupid Ino. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to go out with her" Sakura mumbled to herself.

As she finished her small tirade about her best friend, the door opened and the Kisame walked in.

"Hey princess" he greeted with a toothy grin. "Boss wants to see you."

Sakura scowled and refused to move from her seat on the bed. Kisame raised an eyebrow before walking over to her, throwing her over his shoulder and leaving the room with her. She snarled at the former mist nin and demanded to be put down.

"You gonna cooperate spitfire?" Kisame asked with a grin.

"Yes, just fucking put me down sharkie" she bit out angrily. He complied and they continued walking.

"So why does the leader of Akatsuki want to see me of all people?" Sakura questioned.

"He'll explain that when you see him" Kisame answered. The pinkette huffed and crossed her arms in irritation. She was about to start yelling when Kisame stopped in front of a set of double doors. He knocked before opening them and gesturing for her to enter the room. She walked slowly into the room, which appeared to be an office. Sitting at the desk across the room was Pein. Sakura recognized the pierced man instantly and scowled.

"Why the hell am I here" she snarled. The Akatsuki leader observed her with his peculiar gray eyes before speaking.

"You are here to act as a medic for Akatsuki. Failure to comply will result in the destruction of the leaf village" Pein answered.

"You're already trying to destroy the Leaf!" Sakura yelled angrily.

"You misunderstand our motivations. All we want is the tailed beasts. Any damage done to the villages that harbor them is simply collateral" he responded.

Sakura seethed at his answer. She opened her mouth to scream at him again, but stopped when she felt another presence enter the room, this one even more menacing then Pein.

Sakura turned slowly, dread filling her. Whoever this person was, they were incredibly dangerous, if the heavy chakra filling the room was any indication. Sakura finally set eyes on the shinobi and felt her heart stop. There standing in less than six feet from her was Madara Uchiha, his red eyes boring into her dangerously.

_Fuck._


End file.
